I had just decided that I was content being home with my kids. It had been a year since I took a project consulting and I was grateful to not HAVE to work. But we ran through our savings and things were getting uncomfortably tight. A girl can only go so long before she needs a new pair of shoes.
Contentment is something I’ve been struggling with since I had kids. I think it is part of our nature but I think the culture we live in plays a big part. To long for what you don’t have. To think that satisfaction lies in the next ‘thing’ acquired. That if we just had XX our life would be so much easier. That if only we finished this one project on the house it’ll fit us perfectly. It seems like there are so many things that I was coveting and longing for. When you and your husband are working full-time it is easy to buy most of what you want or need – new clothes, cars, furniture, crafts, etc.
My decision to quit work was not hard for me. Carter was 10 months and I knew I wanted to have kids that were close in age. And the project I was working on at Amazon wasn’t challenging me and didn’t feel like it would make a difference. After you’ve influenced the growth of a billion dollar business, launching an incremental feature on an ad server just wasn’t cutting it. It was easy. I could do it in my sleep. And I was getting paid relatively well to work a couple of days a week in the office. But boys at 10 months are very fun – Carter was starting to walk, was very responsive, content, happy, exploring and just a delight. I figured I might as well start trying to have another baby it could take a while. And it would be nice to get diaper/preschool years over with and get back to building my career as quickly as possible.
And I really feel like kids need their moms close. That so much happens developmentally in formation of self before the age of 5. That I was best equipped to care and love on my kiddos. And that mothering full-time is the most important job I could take on – even if it was mind numbing at times and incredibly tedious. And generally I’ve been happy with that decision.
Except when I’m not. When what I do doesn’t feel significant. When I feel like my brain is fried and my memory shot. When I never get a pat on the back or praised for how smart I am. But it is really hard to network and drum up work as a mom, especially in the recent economic climate. Finding childcare to have lunch with former colleagues much less finding cash to pay for lunch wasn’t happening. And I didn’t have the energy or quiet time on the phone to make calls to people I haven’t seen in a couple of years to ask if they had projects they wanted to farm out off-site on a part time basis.
So when Sarah Bryar called me a month ago and asked if I’d consider working part-time from home I was surprised and at the same time not surprised at how excited I was at the prospect. The fact that Parent Map is a virtual company of a couple dozen women that work from home on a mostly part-time basis sounded unreal. And the fact that they needed help developing products on the web to generate revenue and meet clients needs fit right in the sweet spot of what I am good at – analytics, strategy, and online marketing. And the fact that they haven’t had anyone thinking about this piece of their business means that I can walk in and add value quickly makes this a no brainer. And it doesn't hurt that I AM the target customer, that I am in the thick of parenting and intimately know the customer. And I get to work ‘just enough’ - No more or less than fits in my life. Cha-ching! You can see why I’m excited. I’m a month into the job and loving it.
It isn't perfect. I need to get some help with the kids - I have no idea how I’ve worked 20 hrs a week this past month but I have. Things feel a little out balance right now. But once summer settles down a little and swimming lessons are over and I get a little bit of help, I’m looking forward to having blocks of time to think and be creative and feel productive. I can’t wait to see what we can build over the next few months and years.
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